Who's behind the mask?
Yet another deep post from the far corners of my mind....
I'm the type of person who loves to have fun and joke around. I love being silly and cracking jokes, but over the past month I've been challenged by a couple of friends on several occassions to "be real" with them. This stopped me cold in my tracks. I thought I was being real wtih them, but what they were revealing to me is that I had been wearing a mask. Oh sure, the fun loving side of me "really" is me, but what they were asking was for me to fully remove the mask, take off the stage makeup, step out of the costume, and honestly uncover my heart.
I was speechless, thank you Steven Curtis Chapman. Seriously, I didn't know what to do. Should I trust them? I mean they're my friends, right? I should be able to trust them. Well, after a brief sprint through my mind, I touched on a few questions which has led me down a certain train of thought. Had I ever made a fool of myself in front of them that they didn't ridicule me and make me feel like one? I had, but they never made me feel that way. Have they treated me with respect and dignity, encouraging me in all my endeavors? Yes! So, why was I so worried about being vulnerable, transparent, or "real" as they like to put it, about who I really am?
I've pondered on that ever since, and here is what I've discovered.
We all have masks that we hide behind. We're all afraid to take them off, toss them into the trash, and boldly reveal who we really are to the world around us. However, we're all dying inside, wanting to take them off and be accepted as we really are despite all of our flaws, scars, fears, and failures.
"I want to be known and accepted for who I really am, but I'm so afraid to do so...yet it's painful and lonely not being known and loved for who I am, but it's also painful the thought of exposing myself for fear of being rejected. But, I want to be known and... "
Interesting cycle of thought huh?
Bottom line, we all want to be loved "as is."
We want to be accepted regardless of our mistakes. Most of us realize this in our minds, yet we still struggle to let down our guard and just be ourselves. I'll admit that I can be the court jester at times...okay, quite often, but it's easier that way. Right? It's safer that way! Right? Ultimately, it's not. I will never be able to deeply pour into other's lives or be deeply poured into as long as I hold onto my mask and they hold onto theirs. I will never grow closer to my friends, and they will never be able to do the same as long as we hide behind the mask.
A friend of mine challenged me to face my fears, hand them over to the Lord Jesus, and remove the mask. She said that by taking the mask off I will possibly face ridicule and rejection, but if I keep it on I will definitely miss out on a great blessing.
This challenge caused me to consider yet another relationship, my relationship with Jesus.
How real have I been with Him? He has not hidden His face from me.
Psalm 27:4-9
Why do I hide it from Him? I mean, He knows and accepts me as I am, despite me trying to "look good" in front of Him. How can He not? He made me, and knows all that has taken place in my life and still loves me "as is."
Psalm 139:13-16
Knowing, accepting, and believing in this has given me the cofidence to take bold steps forward in my relationships.
I eventually let my guard down, took off my mask, and allowed my face to be seen.
Was it scary and difficult?
Strangely enough, the hardest part was simply getting started, but once I did,
I felt more and more comfortable to "be real."
Oh, I'm not fully "healed" from this disease of humanity, but I know that I am becoming less and less in need of my social pacifier, my mask. I'm learning to trust the Lord that no matter what happens, I am still loved by Him; scars, flaws, talents, victories, and failures. He loves the whole being of who I am, especially without my mask.
But God demonstrates His own love toward us,
in that while we were still yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7
So, reader...my question to you is..."What mask are you hiding behind?"
Lay it down
Lay it down
I've come to lay it down
Lay it down
I've come to lay it down
My convictions
My emotions
My pursuit of lustfulness
My depression
My addictions
I cast them down
-Among Thorns
Peace (Agnus Dei)
Though we're strangers, still I love you
I love you more than your mask
and I know you have to trust this to be true
and I know that's much to ask
But lay down your fears, come and join this feast
He has called us here, you and me
Chorus:
So may peace rain down from Heaven
like little pieces from the sky
little keepers of the promise falling on these souls
the drought has dried
In His Blood and in His Body
In this Bread and in this Wine
Peace to you, Peace of Christ to you
and though I love you, still we're strangers
prisoners in these lonely hearts
and though our blindness separates us
still His Light shines in the dark
and His outstretched arms
are still enough to reach
behind these prison bars to set us free
-Rich Mullins
I'm the type of person who loves to have fun and joke around. I love being silly and cracking jokes, but over the past month I've been challenged by a couple of friends on several occassions to "be real" with them. This stopped me cold in my tracks. I thought I was being real wtih them, but what they were revealing to me is that I had been wearing a mask. Oh sure, the fun loving side of me "really" is me, but what they were asking was for me to fully remove the mask, take off the stage makeup, step out of the costume, and honestly uncover my heart.
I was speechless, thank you Steven Curtis Chapman. Seriously, I didn't know what to do. Should I trust them? I mean they're my friends, right? I should be able to trust them. Well, after a brief sprint through my mind, I touched on a few questions which has led me down a certain train of thought. Had I ever made a fool of myself in front of them that they didn't ridicule me and make me feel like one? I had, but they never made me feel that way. Have they treated me with respect and dignity, encouraging me in all my endeavors? Yes! So, why was I so worried about being vulnerable, transparent, or "real" as they like to put it, about who I really am?
I've pondered on that ever since, and here is what I've discovered.
We all have masks that we hide behind. We're all afraid to take them off, toss them into the trash, and boldly reveal who we really are to the world around us. However, we're all dying inside, wanting to take them off and be accepted as we really are despite all of our flaws, scars, fears, and failures.
"I want to be known and accepted for who I really am, but I'm so afraid to do so...yet it's painful and lonely not being known and loved for who I am, but it's also painful the thought of exposing myself for fear of being rejected. But, I want to be known and... "
Interesting cycle of thought huh?
Bottom line, we all want to be loved "as is."
We want to be accepted regardless of our mistakes. Most of us realize this in our minds, yet we still struggle to let down our guard and just be ourselves. I'll admit that I can be the court jester at times...okay, quite often, but it's easier that way. Right? It's safer that way! Right? Ultimately, it's not. I will never be able to deeply pour into other's lives or be deeply poured into as long as I hold onto my mask and they hold onto theirs. I will never grow closer to my friends, and they will never be able to do the same as long as we hide behind the mask.
A friend of mine challenged me to face my fears, hand them over to the Lord Jesus, and remove the mask. She said that by taking the mask off I will possibly face ridicule and rejection, but if I keep it on I will definitely miss out on a great blessing.
This challenge caused me to consider yet another relationship, my relationship with Jesus.
How real have I been with Him? He has not hidden His face from me.
Psalm 27:4-9
Why do I hide it from Him? I mean, He knows and accepts me as I am, despite me trying to "look good" in front of Him. How can He not? He made me, and knows all that has taken place in my life and still loves me "as is."
Psalm 139:13-16
Knowing, accepting, and believing in this has given me the cofidence to take bold steps forward in my relationships.
I eventually let my guard down, took off my mask, and allowed my face to be seen.
Was it scary and difficult?
Strangely enough, the hardest part was simply getting started, but once I did,
I felt more and more comfortable to "be real."
Oh, I'm not fully "healed" from this disease of humanity, but I know that I am becoming less and less in need of my social pacifier, my mask. I'm learning to trust the Lord that no matter what happens, I am still loved by Him; scars, flaws, talents, victories, and failures. He loves the whole being of who I am, especially without my mask.
But God demonstrates His own love toward us,
in that while we were still yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7
So, reader...my question to you is..."What mask are you hiding behind?"
Lay it down
Lay it down
I've come to lay it down
Lay it down
I've come to lay it down
My convictions
My emotions
My pursuit of lustfulness
My depression
My addictions
I cast them down
-Among Thorns
Peace (Agnus Dei)
Though we're strangers, still I love you
I love you more than your mask
and I know you have to trust this to be true
and I know that's much to ask
But lay down your fears, come and join this feast
He has called us here, you and me
Chorus:
So may peace rain down from Heaven
like little pieces from the sky
little keepers of the promise falling on these souls
the drought has dried
In His Blood and in His Body
In this Bread and in this Wine
Peace to you, Peace of Christ to you
and though I love you, still we're strangers
prisoners in these lonely hearts
and though our blindness separates us
still His Light shines in the dark
and His outstretched arms
are still enough to reach
behind these prison bars to set us free
-Rich Mullins
posted by Chris at 1:45 AM
4 Comments:
Your mask is so attractive at times, but your real face is so hot right now...so hot!
Have you ever read Steve Brown's A Scandalous Freedom? Chapter 5 is called "The masks we wear". You reminded me of that.
Of course, amazingly, many neo-Lutheran/YE types have gone the other way to the point where "being real" is just another idol (read: mask). "Look at what a repentant, broken christian I am!"
R
Chris, we should be friends, because your last two posts have struck the core of my spiritual battlefield. I know that I am an acceptance-oriented person, but oh how the arrows the enemy uses sting. May Christ deliver us both from those places where Satan would use the wonderful way we were made and turn it against us!
I've never seen Christ shine more brightly through others than in those moments of being "real"... Seeing Him working in someone's life and transforming their hearts is truly witnessing a miracle and is such an amazing testimony to others when we are brave enough to reveal our hearts...
Thanks for the reminder and challenge to go deeper with the Lord and in all of our relationships in the Body! He is Sufficient!
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